Trying to listen to what I always heard

To listen in the silence for a hint of your voice.
Was that an echo of a murmur that never was?
Relentlessly searching for a needle in the universe.
And to have nothing to show for it other than this verse.
Sadness.
For even as you hide from my eye I know.
That you are the greatest donor and not a foe.
And though I have no needle that to you I can show.
That nothing is more than everything, in my heart I know.
Happiness.
But empty handed yesterday n’ today I stand,
Bereft of sharing a pin prick on my hand,
I still wait and try to do your command,
That one that I listened to from the beginning, and….
Longing
One life is to much, make it half if it is in the color of silence painted
For many lovers have longed, met, lived, and in pain separated
But that luxury I do not share for the highest honor I was not granted
I all I have are words, thoughts, longing and a life day by day departed
Mercy.