The comedy of USA visa forms

One of the stupidest questions in the universe is “Are you a serial killer?” I mean really, will you believe him if he says no? And what will you do if he says yes? When such a question is asked by a person well you can blame is on low IQ, but when similar questions are being asked by the USA in its application for a visa you got to wonder how these guys actually built the atom bomb? ( Hint Eisenstein was not American ).

Here are some of the Questions on their form copied word for word.

Have you ever been involved in, or do you seek to engage in, money laundering?

Yes I forgot money in my jeans many times and put them in the washer, had to dry them afterwards. Guilty as charged.

Do you seek to engage in espionage, sabotage, export control violations, or any other illegal activity while in the United States?

Really you want to ask me that question and expect me not to reply, “My name is Bond, James Bond”. Too bad I neither drink it shaken nor stirred 🙂

Have you ever ordered, incited, committed, assisted, or otherwise participated in genocide?

How nice of you to ask me if I was a mass murderer? Well if you count using pesticides to kill cockroaches then yes!

Have you ever committed, ordered, incited, assisted, or otherwise participated in torture?

Now you really got me, yes I tickle my children until they can not take any more. Muhhhaaaaahhhhaaaa. But what is torture is having to answer all your stupid questions, really, do YOU need to torture me such?

Have you ever been directly involved in the coercive transplantation of human organs or bodily tissue?

Well I once spit in my brother’s mouth, does that count?

And now for the big one!

Do you seek to engage in terrorist activities while in the United States or have you ever engaged in terrorist activities?

I mean seriously do you think that this question has ever been answered truthfully by any terrorist before hand? Really just for the sake of argument, what do you do to someone that answered yes to this question? Do you give him the Visa and arrest him? Do you deny them the visa on grounds of stupidity?


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